Tag Archives: failure

ADHD and Learning From Failure

failure success

Having ADHD involves a lot of failure.

You fail to be on time. You fail to remember small details. You fail to remember appointments. You fail to remember what you were supposed to be doing 10 minutes ago. Some of these failures occur on a daily basis, for others it happens less frequently.

The key to emotionally handling failure as an Adult with ADHD is to continue learning lessons from each incident as they occur. It can become too easy and instinctive to beat yourself up each time you’ve missed the mark, but this type of response does nothing to help you.

I’d like to share with you a blog article I found on Facebook. It’s not specifically about an adult with ADHD, but his personal lessons from failure highlight the wisdom he has gained from those experiences.

Seven Happy Lessons from Failure from Dr. David Murray (Click the title to link to the article).

romans 8 28

God assures us that despite our failures, He has a purpose for each of us. Our ADHD doesn’t disqualify us from His grace, mercy, compassion, and forgiveness. He knows all about our struggle with executive functions. He would never give us a calling or a role in life that we could not fulfill.

If you spend too much energy focusing on your failures, you will not have much left for your successes. So remember, failure is not a measure of your worth. It is part of the disorder, and it doesn’t have the power to prevent you from achieving your goals, responsibilities, and life passions. Failure only has negative power over you if you allow it.

Take your failures to God in prayer and reflection and let Him build you up again. God has no desire to see His creation fail, He is always rooting for you! Peace.

 

 

 

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Everyday Failures

failure learning

Failure is a part of life. Thankfully we’ve been forewarned that failure is inevitable. When you have ADHD, failure can end up being a regular occurrence. Each failure isn’t necessarily life changing and this due to them being such regular occurrences that they end up being a part of your regular pattern in life. The failures can be habitual lateness, disorganization, missed information due to daydreaming and a host of other reasons.

Eventually what happens is all the failures add up and take a tole on yourself and others around you. With failure you have two choices, either face the failures and do something about them or bury yourself farther into failure by not addressing the issues. Throughout all of our failures in life, it is important to remember who we truly are. We are God’s creation, a masterpiece if we let ourselves be who He has created us to be, failures included. Trying to hide by entering a world of fantasy while ignoring our reality is never healthy. Escape, but only for a moment, then get back to the business of what’s before us. In our attempts to hide from our hurt, losses, and pain we can end up pushing away those who are there to love and comfort us.

The emotional struggles that come with having this disorder can turn us into super sensitive people when we are deeply hurt. We don’t have to escape. Bring your hurts to God in prayer. Cry out to Him, he is listening.

He knows my name

I have linked a cartoon here from Zen Pencils that I would love for you to see and read. It’s not something that can be skimmed or looked at one time only. I suggest going over it a few times. Think about what the pictures are saying to you about failure. Don’t focus too much on the story line of the Harry Potter series because that is not what the cartoon is about.

The Link Below

http://zenpencils.com/comic/127-j-k-rowling-the-fringe-benefits-of-failure/

Failure is part of the process.
Failure is part of the process.

Success and ADHD: A Different Definition

 

change routine

What is considered a success for people with ADHD is something that is routine for those who are not ADHD. Sometimes the simplest tasks and accomplishments are life changing for us. I’ve had to learn the hard way to redefine what successfully living with ADHD looks like. One of my biggest successes would be getting up early every morning (even on weekends), heading out the door on time, and arriving at my intended destination early. I can’t begin to tell you what an accomplishment this is every single time it happens. I will never stop celebrating this because I know that tardiness was one of my biggest flaws that needing changing. I now enjoy waking up before 5:30 a.m. every morning.

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/adhd-zoe/2014/04/defining-success-when-you-have-adhd/

I read this article from Zoe Kessler, and I think it is a great challenge for those of us with ADHD to ask ourselves.

“After my diagnosis, I understood that I was working with a different brain and a highly sensitive nervous system. I also realized that the popularized notions of success were set by the dominant culture, in other words, by non-ADHD brains. I needed to find my own definition of success and ways to achieve it; otherwise, I’d be doomed to perpetually slam into mountains.

Climb your own mountain.
Climb your own mountain.

This is her quote that has strongly resonated with me, “Success in this case lies not in the eye of the beholder, but in the person who’s overcome invisible obstacles to achieve what might seem quite ordinary.” In that one sentence I found out what I had been doing wrong for so long. I had been trying to achieve society’s definition of success when instead, it would have been healthier for me to understand what success looks like in my ADHD life. I can now celebrate my successes and in doing so it enables me to reach the goals I have for my career choices, family life, personal life, and spiritual life.

All of God’s children, His creation, have a purpose on this earth. It is easy to look at your countless failures and non-achieved goals and incorrectly begin to believe that you cannot fulfill your purpose. Please know this, ADHD has not left you without spiritual gifts, talents, passions and your individual callings in life. God has not cheated us out of anything good.

As John Maxwell has explained in, Your Roadmap to Success, “Success is: knowing your purpose in life, growing to your maximum potential, sowing seeds that benefit others.” With ADHD, it’s those everyday small achievements that add up over time that allow you to have overall success in your life.

Success
Success

I highly recommend taking a few moments to read Zoe Kessler’s article and ponder the questions she has posed to readers.

-How do you define success?

-Is it a different definition (from our main stream culture’s)?

-What makes you feel successful?


 

Some words from Paul in 1 Corinthians 9:24-26

24Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize?Run in such a way as to get the prize. 25Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26 Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air.