Envy: 1. “Painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess the same advantage.” 2. “An object of envious notice or feeling.” (Source: Webster’s Dictionary)
Self-esteem: 1. “In psychology, the term self-esteem is used to describe a person’s overall sense of self-wroth or personal value. Self-esteem is often seen as a personality trait, which means that it tends to be stable and enduring. Self-esteem can involve a variety of beliefs about the self, such as the appraisal of one’s own appearance, beliefs, emotions, and behaviors.” (Source: Psychology.about.com)
Having ADHD can wreak havoc on one’s self-esteem, and if left unchecked, easily develops into a habit of envy. The dangers of low self-esteem and envy leave no choice but to be vigilant against the beliefs, emotions, and behaviours that cut us off from the fruit of the spirit” (Galatians 5:22 – 26).
When you are facing challenges with starting and executing plans, staying on tasks when something else catches your attention, and have issues with self-monitoring; it becomes difficult to keep up with the “Jones”. Eventually you see others accomplishing their long term goals, living in an orderly home, and going about their day unfazed. Those who really do have it all together get to enjoy the benefits of living such a life while you’re still trying to catch up on all your “woulda’-coulda’-shoulda’s”. Not being able to match the rate and pace of others whose lives are on point, can easily activate the low self-esteem – envy cycle.
The first way to break this fruitless cycle is to embrace love. Not just love for others, but love for yourself. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 can only be activated in your life if you first, love God, and as a result love yourself, and use that self-love to love others.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7.
Being loving and kind towards yourself is a spiritual part of adult ADHD management. If you sometimes struggle with managing your own life; focusing on what others are doing isn’t going to help you overcome low self-esteem or envy. It won’t help you get through the day let alone, life.
Actions That Are Not Loving/Negative ADHD Behavioural Issues:
Lack of patience
Behaviour that does not resemble love
Unhealthy relationships with others
When we live in love and manage our behaviours, we will live a life of:
Truth, internal and external
Protecting one’s self from evil traits
Trusting yourself and others
Hoping in your future
Persevering through hard times and struggles
James tells us what happens when we develop a heart for envy,
“Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.” (James 3: 13-16).
With ADHD, there is already enough disorder in your life, let’s not add to this by inviting envy into our hearts and mind.