Everyday Failures

failure learning

Failure is a part of life. Thankfully we’ve been forewarned that failure is inevitable. When you have ADHD, failure can end up being a regular occurrence. Each failure isn’t necessarily life changing and this due to them being such regular occurrences that they end up being a part of your regular pattern in life. The failures can be habitual lateness, disorganization, missed information due to daydreaming and a host of other reasons.

Eventually what happens is all the failures add up and take a tole on yourself and others around you. With failure you have two choices, either face the failures and do something about them or bury yourself farther into failure by not addressing the issues. Throughout all of our failures in life, it is important to remember who we truly are. We are God’s creation, a masterpiece if we let ourselves be who He has created us to be, failures included. Trying to hide by entering a world of fantasy while ignoring our reality is never healthy. Escape, but only for a moment, then get back to the business of what’s before us. In our attempts to hide from our hurt, losses, and pain we can end up pushing away those who are there to love and comfort us.

The emotional struggles that come with having this disorder can turn us into super sensitive people when we are deeply hurt. We don’t have to escape. Bring your hurts to God in prayer. Cry out to Him, he is listening.

He knows my name

I have linked a cartoon here from Zen Pencils that I would love for you to see and read. It’s not something that can be skimmed or looked at one time only. I suggest going over it a few times. Think about what the pictures are saying to you about failure. Don’t focus too much on the story line of the Harry Potter series because that is not what the cartoon is about.

The Link Below

http://zenpencils.com/comic/127-j-k-rowling-the-fringe-benefits-of-failure/

Failure is part of the process.
Failure is part of the process.
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Clutter Culture- I love having stuff!

 

 

Source: Oprah Magazine

Clutter, it’s all around me, well… it’s all around my bedroom. I have well organized piles of paper clutter and books and accountant boxes with even more organized stuff. I’ve been getting better at decluttering because of scheduling this task it into my day timer as this is going to be an ongoing job that will take a few months to complete and I’ve been pretty good at sticking to it. I am amazed every week when taking the recycle bags to the garbage bin. I keep asking myself, “Where have I been keeping all this stuff?” Silly question to ask because I know where I’ve been keeping them; in organized piles of clutter around my room. On shelves, under my bed, at the bottom of my closet, on the closet shelf, in rubber bins, and on the shelves of my desk; basically everywhere in my room.

I thought I was doing well by having all my stuff organized and for the most part, out of my way. I’ve since learned it doesn’t  matter if your stuff is organized, it’s still clutter and you have to ask yourself why you keep these things.

Why have I been keeping some of these books and paper products? So far I’ve been telling myself that I might need all this information for future reference. Really? An entire room full of information that I might need in the future? Nope, not anymore. I’ve got internet access and it provides plenty of information that I might need now or in the future. Bookmarks and electronic file folders are very handy for storing information that one might need at another time.

So now I’ll ask you…

  • Do you have clutter anywhere in your house? (Look around before answering “No”.)
  • What does this clutter consist of? (Possibly: hair products, running shoes, shampoos and conditioners, food condiments in the cupboard and refrigerator, make up, etc.)
  • Why do you keep these items? (You might need them someday isn’t a proper reason for having clutter).
  • Take a picture of each room in your house, all your closets, the inside of your vehicle and anywhere else you store items; what do those pictures look like? See below for some comparisons.
source: theorganizinggirls .com
source: theorganizinggirls .com
Souce: uglyhouses .com
Souce: uglyhouses .com

It’s way too easy for those of us with ADHD to become attached to too many things that we have no realistic need for. Two of an item might be enough, but instead we have sixteen of them. We might be able to find one item that could replace six items, but for whatever reason we choose quantity.

I won’t give you tips and advice on how to get rid of clutter or organize your stuff because there are already plenty of resources for that, but I will encourage you to stop and inventory all the clutter that you have and honestly ask yourself why they have taken up so much space in your physical environment and in your mind. A cluttered environment is a manifestation of cluttered mind.

matt 6 19 20

 

Detox Your Internet Time

Source: lovlierspread wp.com
Source: lovlierspread wp.com

Ooooh the internet! Such an amazing invention. Such a great way to waste valuable time. I appreciate the internet, I remember the days when we didn’t have this world changing technology. Back in the day if I needed information, I had to pick up the phone and rely on the skills, talent, and knowledge of the professional on the other end to answer my inquiries. I also had to go in person to various places to get the information and resources that I needed. It wasn’t the end of the world, we had no other choices back then. We did what we had to do, but I can honestly say, I would never want our culture to regress to being  without internet.

My issue with the internet and smartphones is that if we don’t use them properly, our bad habits begin to influence us more than the benefits. With ADHD it is even more imperative that we be aware of how we use our devices. It doesn’t matter if everyone else has bad technology habits; they meet their deadlines and goals, they likely don’t have co-morbid disorders, and they don’t have issues with impairment of executive functions.

I’m not going to suggest taking an Internet Hiatus or going without your Smartphone for whatever period of time, but I will encourage you to stop and take some time to consider and evaluate how much unnecessary and wasteful time you spent with information technology. 

Ecclesiastes 9.10

I wasn’t feeling well this weekend and spent a lot of time resting. I didn’t have much energy to go about, so I used this opportunity to declutter my phone and various things on my computer. I was amazed at the things I cleared out. I encourage you to make a list of various types of technology that you use and find ways to decrease their distraction temptation and how you can decrease the time you waste using some of these apps and products. At the end of this page are some of the changes I made for myself.

God wants us to be wise with our time because our life is precious. The challenges of self-monitoring and inhibition can’t be used as excuses; we get the same amount of hours, minutes, and seconds in our days as anyone else. We need to be diligent in making sure our free time is used as the gift that it is.

Here is a link to The Sophia Project, an easy reading article where she breaks down how to do a Social Media Detox http://www.thesophiaproject.net/detox/

This is the end of this post. If you’d like to see one example of decreasing and decluttering from Internet/Smartphone distractions, you can read below my personal account of how I did this for myself.


 

Changes That I Have Made For Myself : 

Computer Files: I deleted many files and managed to organize what remained for easier retrieval of information.

Desktop: It was a mess, way too much information. I cleaned it up and now it doesn’t look so messy and overwhelming

Pinterest: I had too many pins. What exactly am I going to do will all the stuff I pin. Am I going to make 200 recipes this year? Probably not. I decreased some boards and cleared out some of the pins. I hate to think of how much time I have spent pinning. I decided that part of my Internet Hiatus will involve no more pinning for the rest of August.

Twitter: I unfortunately signed up for Twitter because all the articles providing Blogging newbie advice said having this was a must. I decided that for the rest of August I would keep to a maximum of 2 Tweets a day. I’m not a business woman, I don’t have a business to sell, so why should I be on Twitter all day tweeting. I also don’t have the time.

FB: I took a partial hiatus from my personal FB account. Again, I can easily spend time reading all sorts of stuff and flipping through endless albums on Friends’ pages. I also don’t need to see anymore cute kitten pictures or doggy jokes. I only check the messages (not the news feed) once a day as FB is the best way for me to communicate with some people.

Tumblr: Why does Tumblr exist? I’m not sure. This is one that I will actually delete unless someone tells me how it can benefit me. It seems like a great way for people to showcase their abs and not much more.

Instagram: I don’t post. I have an account and I don’t use it. Again, is there something on Instagram that I can’t do on FB or Google+ ? Yes, I know, the pictures look neat, but again, my time is more precious than neat looking photo effects. Besides, if it’s on Instagram, it’ll end up on FB anyways.

Google+: I have an account, again because of blogging, but I don’t invest time in G+. When I blog, the article automatically posts to Google. This saves me time and prevents the temptation to look around, comment, and other stuff.

Smartphone:I deleted lots of time wasting apps. They are time wasters for me, not necessarily for others. I also got rid of a lot of calendars and planners. I only use two planners on my phone. I kept things that don’t provide much distraction such as apps related to: weather, GPS, running, food points tracker, e-reader. Get rid of FB, Pinterest, and tempting games. I also cleared up the various screens. Decluttering the screens that you look at on your phone and computer make for a clearer mind. 

Use of phone: I don’t make it a habit to chronically check my phone. I have various alerts and a very bright blinking light that lets me know if someone has called, text, or emailed. If any of these go off, then and only then will I look at my phone. Why do people keep picking up their phones and checking it all the time, as if this will automatically produce communication.

I also don’t like when people I am with answer their phone in the midst of our conversation or reply to texts unless the matter is urgent and timely. Wait until later to reply. This is a method I use for managing my time as well, it annoys people, but I don’t want to be a slave to my phone. I reply to people when the opportunity arises.

RSS Reader: I use this so that all the blogs and websites that I like to read are kept in one place. I don’t need to check the websites and this prevents me from becoming lost in the habit of  procrastination by reading. Once a month I delete websites and blogs that I don’t keep up with. Again, the less there is to be distracted by, the better.

Thanks for reading through my list. Hopefully it provided a good example for those who may not know where and how to start. If internet and smartphone distraction is a problem, prayerfully consider how you can lessen these time wasters in your life. I am confident that for some of you it will lead to less anxiety, mindless reading, consumption of useless information, and provide one less way for you to avoid completing the things  you would be better off doing instead. Time is valuable and so are you!

 

Introvert + ADHD= Huh?

Time to Introvert!
Time to Introvert!

Introvert ADHD

Introverted persons with ADHD really do exist! Some might be thinking, “How can someone be introverted when all the symptoms of ADHD are extroverted.” Well, the idea that people with ADHD are extroverts usually stems from cultural misunderstandings as to what ADHD is, and their symptoms.

Introvert:

“Introversion (I)

I like getting my energy from dealing with the ideas, pictures, memories, and reactions that are inside my head, in my inner world. I often prefer doing things alone or with one or two people I feel comfortable with. I take time to reflect so that I have a clear idea of what I’ll be doing when I decide to act. Ideas are almost solid things for me. Sometimes I like the idea of something better than the real thing. ” Adapted from Looking at Type: The Fundamentals, by Charles R. Martin (CAPT 1997)” From: myersbriggs.org

I’m not certified in MBTI assesments, but if these are the characteristics of Introversion and you as a person with ADHD have these temperaments, then it would be fair to say that you might very well be an introvert.

I am an introvert. On the MBTI I have always scored as an INTJ. People are surprised to find that I am an introvert. I then have to go through the explanation that introverts are not cave dwellers who spend all their time hiding from fellow human beings. My ADHD symptoms also make it a bit more difficult for others to sense my introversion.

People forget that there are 8 types of introverts within the MBTI. It wouldn’t be realistic to believe that all introverts, or extroverts were the same.

source: vox.com
source: vox.com

The challenge with ADHD is to be aware of any behavioural problems associated with your specific introvert type. Being an introvert is perfectly healthy, but for instance, it is not healthy to spend too much time alone or too much time thinking about solutions without being able to make decisions within a timely manner. With ADHD it is easy for the positives of being an introvert to become negatives.

Christians tend to their introverted needs with some of the following:

Through participation is liturgical traditions and creeds

Volunteering and serving within the church behind the scenes (e.g. Media, Kitchen, Administration)

A regular and consistent habit of prayer and meditation (in solitude)

Partaking in daily devotionals and times of deep reflection

Having a preference for small group gatherings (e.g. bible study, mom and tot groups)

Being an introvert isn’t exclusive to Inattentive-ADHD.

From WebMD:

  • Combined ADHD (the most common subtype), which involves symptoms of of both inattentiveness and hyperactivity/impulsivity
  • Inattentive ADHD (previously known as ADD), which is marked by impaired attention and concentration
  • Hyperactive-impulsive ADHD, which is marked by hyperactivity without inattentiveness

If you notice, the criteria above does not match the MBTI description of an introvert. Introversion is not an impairment of attention and concentration. Introversion is not the same as inattentive.  An extroverted person can have Inattentive-ADHD and an introverted person can have Hyperactive-impulsive or Combined ADHD.

A Comparison
A Comparison